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gluttoneats

View movie.
love the perfect lyrics, but the melody's just irritating.

 
 
gluttoneats
05 August 2014 @ 05:49 am

这几天真的不好受。彻夜难眠。又有几个以泪洗面的夜。
有好久没真正表达心情,太久了,都不会了。

 

说实在的,每一次你发简讯给我时,我都会陷入一个非常混乱的状态,有着混杂的心情。
有什么东西是还可以期待的,又还能盼望什么。
或许人往往在不确定,不肯定,没答案的事物下措手不及。可能那也只是以我一个强度悲观不正乐明的人,角度非常极端的想法罢了。
我得承认我是很想你,但想归想,现实还是那比较硬的一块。
唯一还成立的只是我是那个较笨的一个,而不是你。
是不信任你吗?还是太信任你了?
是怕现实不可告人或者隐隐作痛?
真的是性格不合吗?
有多少次是没坦白过的?
恐怕只有我们自己心里有数。

 

All of these that I am gonna mention are purely based on my own observations, opinions and of course facts as well.
So please do not take offence.
It serves as a proper closure to me so that we can both move on and continue our search for 性格合得来的另一半。
Finally I feel the feeling of a break-up, that void that empties me every single night.
Came across a vid which I copied from you. It was recorded from your laptop screen, caught my attention as I chatted with that person before. Seen the whole process of you trying to hook him up and chatting with another person soliciting s** as well. The whole thing really scares me, not that I didnt know you were having lotsa fun which you admitted to me sometimes, but the details of it really creeps me out. I've always thought you are simple and naive, but it shocked me. And yes, that in particular didnt happen during our active time but who knows. Only you know.
That happened in last quarter of 2012, which we started out in 2013 second quarter. Kinda near to that period eh?

 

But that's not the point, you have always told me that ‘我就是这样’ though not in exact relevance to this bcos I didn't know, but I guess I can totally relate. And you told me before 性格这些东西很难改的, yet again, though not in exact relevance but I think it's more relevant that you are still pretty much the same. You can always not remember what you told me but I do.
I also do believe that all these are your in-born natures yah. So you can always depend our your superficiality and find someone much better, yess I might be sweet to you before but not anymore bcos I am totally disgusted. It's not your choice to say whether you want to go through all these again as what makes you think I will want you?
I know you have tried very hard to change for me as well, thanks but now you don't have to anymore:) you can go be your old self having all that fun to satisfy the superficial you, since 性格这些东西很难改的. But before that make sure you have all that 条件 yourself to be superficial or find someone not better than you, if not don't give other people a chance to hurt you alright? I'll give you my final blessings. Take care always.

 

P/S I have tried in many ways to remain as neutral as possible which I failed, grrrr. Sorry about that. And given our 交情, I feel I am quite reserved in what I have to say already.

 

Thanks for listening my beloved and trusted livejournal.
Good nights!

 


 


 


 
 
Current Mood: 领悟
 
 
gluttoneats
15 July 2014 @ 01:05 pm

虽然不是真正的开心。
那些用时间换来的空虚还是会被时间冲淡的。

 

 

 

希望习惯就会好, 久了就能忘。

 

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gluttoneats
22 June 2014 @ 10:17 am
free  

feeling much lighter now as I no longer feel obligated and worried abt the whatever rs I thought shld be going on..

 

 

 

not thinking of what he's said to me so far. I guess being alone actually feels much better. It's much better than having someone time to time comes mindfucking me with some easy words, inconsistent actions.

 

 

 

and it's time to dispose of wad someone has left me few yrs back for more space for new things to come..

 

 

 

till then all alone for now..till someone truthful and sincere comes along again..

 

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gluttoneats
21 June 2014 @ 08:15 am


day by day..the hope diminishes a little just each day..the feelings as well.. have to accept this very fact and embrace this very fact that this rs is over..
probably like u told me rs shldnt be so difficult quoted from ur bro.. I guess u wanted to find some comfort and answer in it.
yea it shldnt have been so tough.
actually I wonder if I am the only still pondering abt all these.. I guess wanting to pass u back the stuff was just wishing for some lil hopes..
it really doesnt matter anymore.. I shall just leave them till I have forgotten abt them, then dispose of them when it's finally time..
guess telling u that I am throwing away is just trying to gain ur attention when I can just throw them anyway anytime.. just afraid I would be regretting.. but I guess it's through..

 

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gluttoneats
15 June 2014 @ 11:29 am

already felt for a long that u were not yourself and u felt really terrible. probably the difference between us is really the cause of this.
if u would really thought I used vulgarity because I meant it or I wanna intentionally hurt u with all that then maybe u didnt understand .
there was no other ways I could get to u to talk. there's always sth that u wanted to hide in ur heart which blocks out everything.

 

 

 

forcing u for an answer is probably the best solution. No matter how hurt we( maybe only me) feel now, as long as we don't keep it hanging there, we will get better in time.

 

 

 

At least we last for a yr right? 13 june..
now at least u will be happier.
probably I shld be more persistent in not trying out this rs then maybe i wouldn't feel this agony now.. non of what my friends said could convince me..until now that I have seen for myself..

 

 

 

a lot of things in life were probably fated and planned for us. This was one of it we walked and spent together before, created memories good and bad that we'll bring with us now onwards alone.

 

 

 

there weren't 'if only' in life.. u've tried to change for me, I've tried too..we gotta be grateful that we've indeed tried.

 

 

 

bad memories shld be buried I guess, I will always relive the good ones we have shared whenever I can.. that little heartwarming moments that could probably mean the world to me..

 

 

 

if there's only one thing I rmb of u..that would be I love u.

 

 

 

take care always.  I hope our soft toys would keep u accompanied.

 

 

 

I love u.

 

 
 
 
 
gluttoneats
06 December 2013 @ 04:10 pm

it's time to carry all the beautiful memories close to me and move on.. nothing will ever change for everything is everchanging..the most treasured moments will always stay close with me till the day I lost my memories or till the day I return to ashes. I love u.

 

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